lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
