Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize