YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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