where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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