In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
