Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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