...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
