She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize