I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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