I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
