I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
