bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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