Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He shit in the fireplace
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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