I want to stick my p in your. b.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
