But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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