My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
