I must be too annoying 4 u.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
