Sponge bath it is.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
