She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
