The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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