oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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