grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize