girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
