She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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