everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
