Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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