It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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