just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
