It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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