you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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