great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
