Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
