I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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