Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
