You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
