3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
