its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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