hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
