i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
