i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
