Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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