playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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