he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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