Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm passing your future prison.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
