brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
