how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize