At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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