Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
