But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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