Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
