i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
