You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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