Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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