My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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