The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
