I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
