grandma shit on top of the toilet
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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