they need to just BURY HIM!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
