Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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